My husband hates fish.  I wish he liked fish.  I like fish. Don’t all normal, healthy people like fish?  Maybe if I put fish on his plate every night for dinner, fed him MORE fish, got him used to fish, surrounded him with fish…he’d learn to like fish.  He just needs more exposure to fish… How ridiculous is that reasoning?  But it’s exactly what we do with our dogs when they do not like or act politely around other canines.

Some people just don’t enjoy fish, and some dogs just don’t enjoy other dogs.  So why do we keep trying to force them?  Bringing a dog that doesn’t like other dogs to a dog park, “so he’ll get socialized and learn to play well with others” is like me serving fish for dinner every night to a husband who’s made it clear that he doesn’t want, like or need fish.  Never has, never will. My husband is happier with a salad and steak than fish, and many dogs are happier with you than with other dogs.  Now, is that so bad?

Socialization is great and I highly recommend it, but it cannot transform a dog-averse canine into the social chairman of the dog park, any more than fish 7 days/week will transform my husband into the Gorton’s Fisherman. 

Let them be.

-Diva

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Unless you’ve been under a rock for the last 10 years, you know that the dog training world is deeply divided on training philosophy and methodology.  I’ve been thinking a lot about this schism over the past couple of weeks, and I HAVE FOUND THE HEADWATERS! If I’m not mistaken, the entire rift can be traced back to one, critical source: the myth of aggression-based dominance. [click to continue…]

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MANY ARE CHOSEN; Few Come When They Are Called. Canines 3:17

August 8, 2010

You can’t argue with the Word of Dog. But I’ll give you some tips to help get your dog’s recall on the fast track to salvation.
If there is one command that gives owners grief, it is the “Come” command.  They scream, they threaten, they beg, they chase, they bribe and cajole – and their dogs [...]

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DOGS 101: A Primer for “Experts”

August 3, 2010

I’m starting to calm down after my blow-out two days ago over the article that lit my fuse, “Dog Training and the Myth of Alpha-Male Dominance”. I’ve decided to write a primer – from my perspective – on DOGS. What’s my perspective? Over 50 years of observing dogs and other social animals, for starters. Then [...]

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Even “Experts” Don’t Understand Dogs!

August 1, 2010

I read an article today that literally made me scream. My blood pressure is making my ears pound. It was entitled, “Dog Training and the Myth of Alpha-Male Dominance”.  The lead-in stated, ”Experts debunk the myth of alpha-male dominance”. I just HAD to read what these “experts” were saying! This is the link to the [...]

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TO BE LOVED or TO LEAD: What’s Your Goal?

July 18, 2010

I’m starting to notice a trend in my consultations with women coming to me for help with their dogs.  When we come to the inevitable subject of discipline, most women start to shy away.  They want better control, but they don’t want to discipline their dogs as a means of getting that control.  As I [...]

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MY DAY with a HORSE

July 11, 2010

My good friend and riding buddy called me up the other day. She wondered if I could help her with a horse behavior issue that had confounded her for weeks. Her new horse would NOT go over water on the trails near her house. She said she had tried everything, but to no avail. It [...]

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SUPER MOMS: the Job, the Kids, the Dog… Oh My!

July 4, 2010

You’re home from work, trying to get some kind of dinner on the table, the kids are running wildly around the house and suddenly you hear “Mom! The dog is jumping on me! He has by Barbie and he won’t give her back”. Before you can wash the meatloaf off your hands to get in [...]

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WHEN COLLARS TURN DEADLY

June 12, 2010

PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY DOG OWNER YOU KNOW!
I’m back from my trip, and was all ready to write a clever blog about by dog adventures in sunny Spain…but tragedy intervened.
Today I received a call from a dear client whose two dogs come so frequently to my kennel, that we all consider them family here. [...]

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RULES TO THE RESCUE: They Help a Rescue Dog Feel Secure

May 16, 2010

I was reminded yesterday as I consulted with a rescue dog owner, how little guidance there is out there for dog owners that adopt a rescue dog.  When they bring their new dog home, they do what they think is right to help them aclimate to their new forever home, but often do exactly the [...]

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