TO BE LOVED or TO LEAD: What’s Your Goal?

by Camilla Gray-Nelson

I’m starting to notice a trend in my consultations with women coming to me for help with their dogs.  When we come to the inevitable subject of discipline, most women start to shy away.  They want better control, but they don’t want to discipline a dog as a means of getting that control.  As I probe to find out why, the recurrent answer.  “I’m afraid he won’t like me,” they say.

Have you ever known a woman who’s only goal was to be loved by a man? When their sole goal is to be loved, women do stupid things. They come across as needy, clingy and weak. Decent men hate needy, weak women and so do dogs!  If being loved by your dog is your only goal, I’m here to say you may never achieve it. The irony is that to be loved, one must first be strong. Only when you take control of your dog and his behavior will he truly love and respect you. Just as good men are attracted to women with principles, confidence and standards, so are dogs. Nature loves strength; it hates weakness.

Instead of trying to get your dog to love you, be a stronger leader. Stop accommodating every whim.  Set your boundaries and your rules. Enforce them quietly, but consistently. Give where you must; take where you can. Don’t be a doormat, be a Diva.

THAT’S how you get a dog to love you!


About Camilla Gray-Nelson

When I started training dogs professionally, it was women who sought out my help. Responsibility for the family dog typically falls to them, after all. Their homes were in chaos; they were yelling at their dogs – and their kids – and couldn’t control either one. The life skills of personal power that I learned as a child (and assumed everyone else had, too), turned out to be rare among my clients. Since that time, it has been my personal goal to share Nature’s message of quiet power with women (and men) everywhere to help them become more effective not only with their dogs, but in their greater lives as well.

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