As a dog trainer, nothing makes me cringe like the use of the P-Word: “Punishment.”  I have a visceral reaction to it, like I have to several of the other culturally and emotionally charged words in our English language.  Here’s why I react to the P-Word:

From the get-go, dogs don’t know right from wrong or “should” from Shinola®…  They invented the phrase, “If it feels good do it.”  Timothy Leary just borrowed it in the 70’s.   Dogs are not immoral; they are simply amoral.  Their world and their actions in it are determined not by asking themselves if the behavior they are considering is right or wrong, but by asking the question:  “How’s this gonna turn out for me?”  If a behavior ends up in the dog’s favor, they’ll repeat it – not because it was “right”, but because it turned out good for them.  The sandwich left unattended on the coffee table is a tasty treat just waiting to be enjoyed.  It is not “wrong’ to take the sandwich.  If it is yummy and there is no immediate downside to grabbing it, the dog will continue to be a sandwich-snatcher.   In fact, the dog will be confused by the owner’s anger when he returns, finds the sandwich gone and tries to punish the dog for his crime.  “But you don’t understand,” the dog will try in vain to explain.  “It was delicious!”  Dogs are results-driven, not morally constrained.

Webster’s New World Dictionary defines punishment as “penalty for a crime or wrongdoing.”  How on earth can you punish an animal that does not understand crime or wrongdoing?   Answer: You can’t. It would be like putting a two-year old on trial for burglary for stealing his sister’s toy.  You cannot punish someone that has no idea they did anything wrong.

You can, however, discourage behaviors in your dog by associating unpleasant results to the behaviors you want him to avoid.  Remember?  Dogs are results-driven!  And in Nature, all actions have re-actions or results – some good and some not so good.  It’s how animals decide which behaviors they will repeat and which they will avoid in the future.  The sandwich-snatcher might think twice about grabbing that morsel if, at the very moment he reached for the ham and cheese, a loud and startling noise occurred just behind him.  If he associates the sandwich-snatching with the unpleasant result of the startling noise…this is what will change his behavior going forward, while the moral outrage of his owner in the example above did not register with him at all.  You cannot punish or guilt a dog into good behavior!

The word “punishment” is also emotionally charged – some would argue intentionally so.  Well-meaning dog trainers that label all corrective measures  as “punishment” taint all forms of correction with the imagery of of anger, pain and conflict — without regard to the nuanced specifics.  Since no one in their right mind wants to hurt or harm their dog, all correction is avoided, boundaries are not established, the dog’s actions do not have consequences and the proverbial baby is thrown out with the bathwater.   Has anyone seen my friend, Common Sense?  She appears to have gone missing.

• Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and rules for your dog.
• Do not yell or punish when your dog “misbehaves”, however.
• Instead, correct unwanted behaviors by associating them with simple, unpleasant results.  These unpleasant results can include startling noises, an unexpected squirt bottle, the snap of a leash, etc.  Keep that smile on your face throughout!
• Remember to give good results for good behavior, too.

Oh, there she is!  Common Sense is back!  Welcome home, girlfriend.

-Diva

Camilla Gray-Nelson, also known by her witty online personae Dog Talk Diva™, announced today that she will unveil a new product line of the same name at Global Pet Expo 2012, February 29-March 2, in Orlando FL (Booth 3272). The Dog Talk Diva line of products is targeted to the unique challenges women face in the training and management of the family dog.

Product offerings include the humorously titled “What Did Mama Say” Follow-Through Tab and “Coming Mother” Recall Line among others. Retail prices for the line range from $8.50 to $24.99 per unit and will be available at pet product retailers beginning April, 2012.

According to the 2011 APPA Pet Products Trend Report, U.S. households are increasingly bestowing the dog of the house with full family privileges. They travel with the family, wear designer brands and frequently use high tech and eco-friendly toys. But with these additional privileges often come increased expectations regarding training—the responsibility for which rests primarily with the woman of the house.

“Throughout my career, women have sought my help in getting the family dog under control. Most often it’s well-intended but ineffectual methods of training (relying on physical strength, bravado or endless cookies) that leads them to me. With my new line of Dog Talk Diva products, I feel I can finally provide women with the kind of tools they need to be more successful. These products reflect my core belief in calm power and leadership and continuing commitment to help all women become leaders with their dog.”

Dog Talk Diva Announces NEW Dog Product Launch & Book Release Targeted To Women at Global Pet Expo 2012 (Orlando, FL)

Media and buyers attending the show: Come meet the Dog Talk Diva at Booth 3272 

LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH: Dog Training a Woman’s Way,  $17.95

~ An instruction guide for women who need help controlling their dogs.

No wonder – since 3 out of 4 households leave dog care to a woman! Author Camilla Gray-Nelson, a.k.a. the Dog Talk Diva™, explains that it’s not about “Sit” when it comes to controlling a canine.  It’s not about manhandling, yelling or cookies, either.

Using her farm-girl wisdom, Camilla shares that “top dogs” in the animal world aren’t the ones doing the barking and fighting; they are cool, calm and collected.  She points out that we are all animals at our core and, because of this, can get what we want from our dog in the same way the top dog achieves what he wants: through quiet focus, feedback and follow-through.
Read excerpts, reviews, and more:  www.lipstickandtheleash.com

Paperback / 208 pages, 7” x 10” / 131 b/w photographs
Pets/Dogs/Training, Self-Help/Personal Growth
Publication date: March 15, 2012
ISBN:  978-0-615-46558-6
Published by Double Dove Press / www.doubledovepress.com

Gray-Nelson added, “We’re delighted to debut these products at Global Pet Expo precisely because this is where industry trends are showcased. We think our products are positioned perfectly to meet the needs of female consumers everywhere.”

Weekly I meet with dog owners full of angst. As a dog behavior consultant, disillusioned dog owners come to me with regularity, their dreams of a raising a perfect puppy or giving a better life to a rescue dog going awry. Usually it’s something simple (pulling on the leash, jumping on visitors, digging in the yard, barking, housetraining issues, etc.) Those things are easily fixed through training and I relish the opportunity to do so.

Sometimes, however, the problems are more serious: the adolescent puppy starts growling at children, or the rescue dog bites a friend who comes to visit. In one of my recent cases, the dog started hiding under the sofa and submissively urinating whenever the family came home.

My job as a trainer and behavior consultant is to help make things right – for the dog. In cases where simple training and boundaries will help control unwanted behaviors and make a dog feel more secure, I guide the owners through that process. But in cases that involve fear or aggression, I’m not dealing with a training issue; I’m dealing with an unhappy dog.

As I am fond of saying, “A happy dog doesn’t growl or bite.” The most important part of an aggression consultation is figuring out why the dog is unhappy and whether or not the family is able to minimize the stress in his environment. Is the dog perturbed about strangers coming onto his property, yet he lives in a busy household with visitors coming and going constantly? Does he dislike the company of other dogs, yet was brought into a household with existing canine family members? Is he frightened of children, but lives in a house with four of them under the age of twelve? When the dog’s stress IS his environment, it’s time to think about the well-being of the dog and the nature of the owner’s commitment to him.

Many clients often say, “I’m committed to making this work.” “I’m not going to give up.” “I made a commitment and I’m not a quitter.” I remind them, this is not about them or how good a person they are. This is about what’s best for their dog. Clinging stubbornly to a “commitment’ that makes us feel good, but continues to make our dog miserable is no virtue. If we care about our dog, perhaps the greatest gift we can give him is a new home, better suited to his personality and his needs. A dog that bites should not be in a home with children or a home with a traffic pattern like Grand Central Station. He would be happier in a quiet, predictable environment with proper containment and an owner familiar with managing this behavior. A dog that’s afraid of his family should be allowed to live with a different one. This is a difficult and delicate conversation for a consultant to initiate and for a dog owner to hear, but in some cases it is a conversation that needs to happen.

We should all be committed to our dogs and to giving them the best and the most that we possibly can. But sometimes….a new home is the best home. For the dog.

-Diva

Transcription of Show

The name of the show is, What Would Jeff Do? You’re listening to me on AM790, Talking Business, and around the world on Solid K9 Training Radio. If you miss any part of my show, the #1 page on my website is my, What Would Jeff Do? page, because you can download any of my old shows, and by 6:00 PM tonight, today’s show will be up there, and you can also listen to my show live from around the world right from that page.

But more importantly, on the air right now, I’ve got Camilla Gray-Nelson.

Good morning, Camilla.

Camilla:Good morning, Jeff.

Jeff: How are you?

Camilla: Well, I’ll be better when I finish this second cup of coffee, remember we’re three behind you over here, but I’m good.

Jeff: I know you are. So listen, you’re from the Dairydell Canine, and I’m on your website, and this Doggy Dude Ranch and Training Center is incredible.

Camilla: Thank you.

Jeff: So we have to talk about that. We have to talk about a couple of things: We have to talk about the Dude Ranch and Training Center; we have to talk about the Dog Talk Diva, and your Lipstick and the Leash. And I also want to talk to you about training dogs for women — is there a difference, and what women really need in a dog trainer. Let’s talk about how you started this; let’s talk about how you grew up on a dairy ranch, and from when to when, like you literally grew up on a dairy ranch, like, you woke up every morning –

Camilla: Yeah, literally.

Jeff: Okay.

Camilla: I still live on one.

Jeff: Okay. So talk to me about that, because I think this makes you probably a special kind of a person, as well as a trainer, because we have Vermont up by us — you know, you can always tell when somebody comes down from Maine and Vermont — they’re a special kind of person because they work with their hands, and their outdoors, and then tend not to complain as much about, you know, certain things, and they understand the concept of a hard days’ work. So talk to me about how do you feel that, growing up and being raised in that environment, just as a person, but also your connection to animals.

Camilla: Well, I’ll tell you, when I was growing up, because I was raised on a ranch that was miles out of town — all my other little friends in school had girlfriends and kids that they played with on the weekends and after school in their cul-de-sacs and their suburban homes — I didn’t have any of that. When I was small, it was a little bit disappointing to me, and I always tell people, you know, I didn’t have any friends with two legs until I was in junior high. But, the advantage of that looking back now, because everything I do in the dog world in training, is based on how animals communicate naturally with each other. And if I didn’t have that background, I wouldn’t know that language; I would be oblivious to it, just as all of my clients are and most of the world is. And yes, you’re right, we are not afraid of hard work.

Jeff: It’s incredible. So give me an example, because I like to — you know, I’m a different kind of trainer, and I don’t know if we’re going to go too deep into it, like actually training, because I want people to think bigger than that, I want people to look at the holistic message here. What is something that is so common in the dog world, or even almost animal world — we talk about pack animals — that we’re missing, the general population now is missing, they’re missing the boat on it.

Camilla: I’ll tell you right up front what it is: It is somehow the perception that to be seen as strong with your dog, or to get your dog to do what you want them to do, you have to be loud, you have to be intimidating, you have to be full of machismo and pin your dog to the ground. And I am telling you, as a student of nature for over 50 years, that is so backwards and wrong. When you look at a — from my early experience, my herd of cows, my horses — keep in mind, social group mammals, social mammals — cows, horses, dogs, and what have you are the ones I’m most familiar with — they all follow the same social contract — there’s a leader, there’s the followers, there’s the ones that work in the basement, there’s middle-management, and there’s the executive. I’m getting off track, but I’m still on track.

Download the PDF and read the entire Interview… Click to download now.

The plethora of doggie daycare centers around the country in the last few years is nothing short of mind-boggling.  But with the popularity of daycare services for dogs, there comes an unrealistic expectation –that all dogs can and should be social with others – they’re “social animals”, after all.  The truth, however, is not nearly as simple or clear-cut, and many dog owners are finding themselves disillusioned and confused when their dogs fail to make the grade in daycare. 

Many dog parents believe that if their dog is not good around other dogs, this can be overcome by more social exposure, so they sign up for doggie daycare.  Or when they get a new puppy, a super-responsible owner will get their pup enrolled in a puppy play and doggie daycare program, believing that this early and ongoing socialization will “guarantee” their puppy’s future social skills. Oh, that it were so simple!  Here is Nature’s perspective on the tricky subject of dogs and social interactions.  If your canine child has had trouble integrating into a dog park or daycare situation, read on.

Dogs are wired by Mother Nature to live in packs.  But what is a pack, exactly?  It’s an extended family of dogs, all related and familiar to one another – parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Day in and day out, the same dogs are in this big family. Puppies are born each season into the family pack.  Puppies grow and develop through infancy, adolescence and finally into their serious adult character, whatever Nature has genetically coded for them. Once an adult, a dog’s duty is to help defend the pack.  Woe to the new dog that wanders into a family territory, the adult pack members rising up and driving off the intruder. They do not welcome him in and offer him a seat at the dinner table. 

But newcomers are the norm in doggie daycare and dog parks.  Every few minutes, a new dog is arriving.  The daycare or dog park “pack” is made up of different dogs everyday, with little to no familiarity with each other.  They quickly sort out their organizational structure and then must decide to accept or reject each newcomer.   Each newcomer, turn,  is faced with the uncertainty of whether or not they will be accepted by the group.  When the group is made up of young, carefree pre-adults, there’s usually little problem.  Kids like everybody! With an older demographic, however, harmony between the dogs can become more elusive.  After all, it was the job of their ancestors to drive off newcomers, not accept them! 

The most difficult situation I encounter, as a daycare operator is when a wonderful client brings their young dog to daycare and all starts out well, but over time the dog becomes less and less social until they are no longer appropriate in a social daycare setting.  Failing to understand this behavioral change as a result of maturation, the client, understandably, tends to think their dog is being singled out unfairly or unjustly. They are upset and confused.  Everything had been fine before.  In reality, however, things have changed as the result of the inevitable passage of time and the genetic code that predestined their dog’s adult personality from the get-go. 

Does this mean that adult dogs cannot be successful in daycare?  Not at all!  Many breeds have been so domesticated and dialed-down as to smooth out the sharp edges of their original adult canine ancestors, making them, in essence, perpetual puppies.  Labs, Goldens and similar breeds come to mind.  No wonder they do so well in daycare!  Other breeds, however, were bred to remain sharp and discerning, as there was need for this character in the job for which they were developed.  German Shepherds and other serious working dogs are good examples of this.  These breeds can find today’s daycare settings very challenging, especially as they mature.  Many of these dogs would rather have their own room than run with the Great Unwashed (!)

So if your canine child is a daycare drop-out, do not fret.  It just means he’s very smart and very grown-up.  He gets an “A” in Canine.  Your children will be what they will be, after all.  So you may not have the doctor you were hoping for…success and happiness come in all forms.  Love your dog for the dog he is, and give him the life that makes him happiest.  For some dogs, that’s peace and quiet – not daycare.

Diva

 Many years ago, when I first began my career  as a dog trainer, I was out training one of my students at our country feed store.  While I was putting the dog through his Sit/Down/Heel paces, a young homeless man passed me with his puppy on a rope and muttered, “Sit is stupid.”  At the time, I was a bit offended and passed off his comment as one of utter ignorance.  Years later, I realized the homeless vagabond was right.    Sit is stupid!

Let me explain.  While specific commands (like Sit, Down, Heel) are handy and convenient, they have nothing to do with who’s in charge and they are unnatural in the dog world.  They are trained “performances” from your dog in response to those words.  Don’t get me wrong – I like having my dog sit to be collared, and heel smartly when working our way through a crowd.  But none of those trained behaviors get to the core of the human/dog relationship, develop a sense of responsibility in my dog or make her see me as her boss.  It’s just a performance for the moment. 

What dogs are looking for is the leader that will set the limits of their behavior by telling them what is NOT allowed.  An Alpha dog in a pack never uses Sit or other commands to do this!  What he does is set boundaries for the other dogs – telling them in clear, canine terms what is NOT acceptable.  I bring this up within the context of this discussion on Sit, because too many dog owners use “Sit” instead of “Stop That.” 

Think about it.  When your dog is misbehaving on the leash, do you tell him to Sit in order to calm him down?  When guests arrive and your dog is jumping wildly all over them, do you shout your Sit command to bring the chaos under control?  When your dog is pulling on the leash, do you tell him to Heel to solve the problem?  While these commands may provide temporary relief, they do not teach your to think about his behavior or learn to avoid it in the future.  They simply put your dog on a command-performance where considering alternatives is not even allowed.  Since your dog has not learned that jumping and bad leash manners are not allowed, he will repeat them next time – until your redirect him with a your Sit command. 

In nature, dogs don’t respond to commands; they learn to use their brains.  It is “management by exception” in the dog pack, with the Alpha dog stepping in when necessary to tell the others what is NOT allowed.  The other dogs, in turn, are then responsible for figuring out what IS allowed.  It is this process of deductive reasoning in response to these boundaries that engages a dog’s brain and produces well-disciplined and thoughtful behaviors.  When you use Sit to bring your dog under control, you are cheating him out of an important opportunity to learn responsibility.  You are missing the chance to act like the Leader that he will understand – the one that tells him what NOT to do, and encourages him come up with responsible alternative behaviors.

MY TRAINING CHALLENGE:  For an entire week, do NOT tell your dog to Sit. Instead, correct and stop those behaviors that you do not want (bad leash manners, inappropriate jumping, etc.) When your dog tries an alternative behavior, either praise it or correct it and let him try something else.  You will be amazed at the responsible companion waiting to be developed inside your whirling dervish.

-Diva

Some dogs housetrain themselves; others need our help in being convinced that it is more pleasant to do their business outside than on our Persian carpet.

For a dog, pooping and peeing is just another behavior, like begging at the table or hanging around my horses.  Like with any behavior, they will repeat it if it ends in a good result and avoid it ONLY if it ends in a less than good result.  If you feed your dog table scraps when he begs at the table, he will continue to beg.  If one of the horses on the farm kicks out, he will avoid that horse in the future.

Some puppies are born with a fastidious nature.  These are the puppies that naturally find pooping and peeing in the house distasteful – because they don’t like the smelly result.  Voila!  You have puppy that asks to go outside when he needs to relieve himself, and can be trusted to hold it all day until you return to let him out!  These puppies practically housetrain themselves, though you take all the credit.

Other puppies aren’t so prissy.  They find the immediate relief from using your floor as a toilet to be gratifying, comfortable, and worth repeating.  They find more pleasure in relief than they find displeasure in the stink.  So how do you housetrain a puppy that doesn’t care?  You help him to care.  Housetraining means a dog will actively work to avoid messing in the house, whether or not you are there to let him out.  Taking him outside every hour does not housetrain him!

Like with any other behavior that you want your dog to avoid, you will need to make messing in the house less pleasant for the puppy.  Only when a dog finds a behavior unpleasant from his perspective will he stop or avoid it.  Just because you consider piles of stinky dog poop on your floor offensive doesn’t mean your puppy feels the same.  If he did, he’d be asking to go outside.  From that dog’s perspective, putting it there felt good! We need to change that.

1.      First, crate train your puppy.  You can use either a solid-style crate, or a more open, wire style.   Both will teach your dog to accept being confined to his own space and help prevent accidents when you are not paying attention.  Because dogs are naturally “den” animals, puppies take readily to being crated and soon even seek out their crates for resting and quiet time.  Crate training will be an important element in your housetraining program now, and in managing your dog in other ways later on.  Never use the crate as punishment.  Think of it as a playpen in which you can put your puppy when you cannot supervise him.  A crate trained dog is a dog that’s easy to live with.

2.      While he is crated, your puppy cannot mess on your floors, so you can take a shower, work or go to the store without worrying about what you’ll find later.

3.      When your puppy is out of his crate, he should have a leash dragging from his flat collar and you need to watch his every move.  Never take your eyes off of him.  If you need to focus on something else, put your puppy back in his crate. When he attempts to piddle or poop indoors, lob a penny can to land where he is doing his business*.  He will think the trolls under the carpet barked at him!  You have just made the result of pooping or peeing inside the house “unpleasant”.  You’re halfway there!

4.      You quickly “rescue” your little one by taking his leash and walking him outside to an acceptable potty area.  Praise him softly if he finishes his business.  You have made it more pleasant to be outside when Nature calls.

5.      Crate your puppy for up to four hours at a time, as well as overnight.  You can have a life, your puppy will develop the ability to “hold it”, and if you can catch and correct him “in the act”, you’ll be on your way to a well-housetrained dog!

6.      You’ll know that you have successfully housetrained your dog when he begins to whine or stand by the door when he needs to “go”.  You can then try leaving him alone in the house for increasing periods of time, from just 30 minutes to several hours.  The naturally fastidious dog will be able to handle that time alone responsibly.  You can eventually be gone up to eight hours or more with that kind of dog.  The dogs that don’t care, however….probably best to crate them or let them hang out in a dog run if you have to leave for any considerable length of time.  If you are not there to open the door, they tend to exercise Option B – going on the carpet.

And that’s “the scoop” on successful housetraining,  …You’re welcome!

-Diva

* You can make your own penny can (or training can) by putting 15 pennies in an empty soda can and covering the hole with duct tape.  If you want something more attractive and sturdier, I sell professional training can kits – with instructions – through my business.  Call to order:  (707)762-6111.

Does your dog fly out the door when it is opened?  Run into the street from the front lawn?  Leave the room you are in to maraud around the house on his own?  Your dog could use some boundary training!

To teach your dog safe and practical boundaries, you need just three things:

1. a dog
2. a long line
3. a regular or training collar

With a long line attached to your dog via his collar, you can teach your dog to respect virtually any boundary – whether it is the edge of the lawn, the threshold of your front door, or the doorway of the room that you are in.  Here’s how:

1. Choose the boundary you want to teach.
2. Put a collar on your dog (either a flat collar, or a training collar like a slip chain, a martingale or pokey style).
3. Attach a long line of 15-30 feet to the collar and hold the other end.
4. When you dog reaches the boundary you want to teach, POP the long line to give a quick, sharp “that’s far enough” message through the collar.  If your dog tries again to cross the boundary, POP the line again.  The long line and collar are, in essence, acting like an invisible fence, which the dog encounters each time he tries to cross the boundary.

Repeat this several times.  Enlist the help of a friend or family member as an assistant, and have them cross the boundary, as you reinforce the do-not-pass rule for your dog.  Very soon, you will have a dog that will NOT bolt through the door, run across the street or leave the room that you are in, because he will believe and respect the boundaries that you have defined for him.

Try it!  This is especially effective for young puppies, but can work with any age dog.  Here’s to a safer life ahead through better boundaries for our dogs!

-Diva